Madre Minutes: Red Light Green Light

After two years I got green light to go in the river!

I have a lot to share.
I had a wedding in March, a college graduate in May, the Texas High School State track meet, had minor surgery, finished Herceptin treatments, remodeled garage apartment, drove a tailer to New Orleans to move a daughter, flew to North Carolina and drove back to Texas with my daughter, a baby and her dog. Needless to say I have been really busy and have had hardly time to come up for air. It's all good and it's all done.
A good week. My two year diagnosis anniversary is coming up on July 7th. I have had to deal with many red lights and green lights along the way. One of the biggest red lights for my treatments has been the issue with my heart. The chemo damaged the muscle so my ejection fraction % went down meaning it was not able to pump all the blood out of my heart fully which can lead to other problems. They were confidant that they could keep me at a certain level then see how the heart responds after I am off the Herceptin. I have been off now a little over a month and it very well may have been the culprit. I participated in a study so they could test and evaluate my blood so other people might not go through the heart issue with Herceptin. I am happy to report my numbers have already gone up, which is a good thing for my ejection fraction. Green light. I went and saw my heart doctor last week at MDA and they told me my heart muscle had fully recovered and was fully restored. FULLY RESTORED AND RECOVERED. I was very happy. I cried. I cried mostly because I wanted to tell my doctors, especially my doctor at MD Anderson. But that may never happen. Red light.

Dr. Ana-Maria Gonzalez-Angulo

William and I never watch the national news.......ever. I was sort of dozing on the couch, he was getting ready for a run and the news came on after the golf tournament we were watching. All of a sudden I saw my doctors name from MD Anderson flash up on the screen with her picture. I said to William, "wait wait, its about Dr. Gonzales". We stood and sat there eyes fixed and ears tuned to what they were saying about her. Look it up for yourself. Apparently she was accused and arrested for poisoning her doctor boyfriend. She is now on paid administrative leave. The story ended and we looked at each other and said, "WHAT?" We were shocked and just stunned at what was being said. I had an appointment with my heart doc that very next week. When I was told of my good news about my heart they asked then if I would be checking in with the breast clinic and my doctor and then realized who my doctor was.......it hit me then that I may never see her again. I may never get to share with her my good news about my heart. This now and then made me begin to cry. This woman saved my life with the protocol she prescribed, she is in the business of saving lives, many of her family members have had breast cancer so that is what motivated her, she herself had the gene so had a double mastectomy, she is the foremost authority in her field, the "Boss" as everyone called her, and appeared on many Susan G. Komen films. She claims her innocence and I have to say I am standing by her til proving otherwise. Green light.

A picture of me and Dr G at one of my appointments at MD Anderson we are laughing.

I also wanted to share with you how incredible it has been having my grand baby here and my daughters. It makes for more work, longer hours and fatigue, but worth every bit of it. As I sit here and type this I listen to the monitor as she sleeps in the next room and mama has a little bit of me time. We have blown up a big pool for them and purchased a Bob baby jogger and it feels like we are parents again but in a different sort of way. It is really great. We have had some good times already this summer.

My sweet Mary Ann

My garden is going crazy with the heat. The tomatoes are going wild and I am making salsa and soups with all the fresh veggies. I have had to replant already due to a fly larva that has attacked. I may lose my cantaloupe crop. Seems to be hitting all the vine plants except the tomatoes. So good for that.
I am doing well and enjoying life that feels full and overflowing. I am blessed indeed.