Tuesday, February 7, 2012


Ooops.  Day 6 got lost yesterday.  Mostly because yesterday was what I used to call for my girls a Sesame Street Grovers Bad Awful Day.  It was a stay low in the bed day. I had an ice bag on my head for the headache and a hot bag on my breast to draw out infection.  It was a really funny sight.  Just moving around hurt, opening my eyes hurt, my head hurt, infection started in my left breast, got shots for WBC to bring those up.  All in all it HURT.
But today, I am better.  Infection starting to respond to medicine.  And as only a small town would have it I had the nurse come by and look at it, take a picture to email the doctor who is in Houston this week so he can see it.  Only in a small town can you get house calls like that.  So grateful.
There are many things, yes, I hate about the expanders, the port in my neck and chest, yet I am humbled by His Love for me to take care of me so sweetly.  I have really had an ok time up til this point and know that this is where the rubber meets the road.  I am in the thick of it and only, after today, will have four more chemo treatments left.  I will have to take Herceptin intravenously til Dec. but hoping I can take port out and just do it in my arm.  They said I could.  Radiation is after chemo but only for about three weeks every day but for only about 5 minutes a day of treatment.  Then I have to wait three months for my final surgery to take out expanders and put in my implants.  A long, but worthy, wait.
Another lesson in waiting.  I am finding that waiting is closely linked to control.  When you are really at the mercy of God, the doctors, the chemo, the process, and your body my willingness to yield is challenged.  I still have that little mole try and rear its head trying to convince me that I need to be in control.  A very humbling experience and one that I obviously need to learn again and again.  I want that submission to Him to be automatic, always.
His word never fails me, always corrects me and gives me peace.
Psalm 27:14  "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
The Word describes it as a gift.  We are waiting for a gift.  The gift.
James 4:6b "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble".
More humility Lord, more grace.  He has granted me so much already. I am thankful He is an endless supply.


  1. Beautifully Written. I am humbled.

    1. Thank you Thomas. As control would have its way again yesterday they delayed chemo this week but that is a good thing. As much as. I want it to be over

  2. "...waiting is closely linked to control..." and Psalm 27:14. I needed that today. Thank you.

    1. I think weare always in a process of waiting amen!


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