Pre to chemo, but feel as though it is also part of what you go through with the chemo process. An entry from my journal back in July prior to double mastectomy reveals much about pre-judging in me. Not a pretty sight, but learning how to see it before it comes.
July 11th 2011-----"Today I saw the plastic surgeon. I had made a pre judgement about him without really knowing much about him. I do that a lot and God is showing me in this experience to greet everyone with a holy kiss as if they too might have news of a cancer in their lives. I am learning a lot already and it has only been 5 days since I was told---I had to sit topless in a room with two men as they measured, poked, pinched, marked with a marker and took pictures of my breasts--AWKWARD I was sweating and felt clammy, nervous, and weird (I am laughing now as I type cause this is funny to me reading it). My mind again was put at east when I learned he was trained at MD Anderson and taught micro surgical procedure. Um, well shut my mouth.
God has just been with me every step of the way. I pray it is a simple mastectomy and has not gone in the sentinel nodes. I pray and pray. My head hurts, stomach nausea, tired yet I pray-Semper Fi."
I share this with you now as you understand the places I have been have only strengthened me for such a time as this in my life. I am humbled at the gift. Today I thought of a great name for my book I have signed to publish and thought I might share it here.....God Gave Me an Upgrade.
Everything He has done for me has only been for me to draw nearer to Him. Our lives are so filled the fullness almost makes us too blind to see. Open your eyes to the wonders of God and all His Creativity.