My oldest daughter and I have been on the road now since Tuesday making our way across America. We hit 2000 miles today and are staying with relatives in Alabama. No bad weather til we got here, but feel blessed that is all we have encountered. I decided if I was going to journey across America I was going to do it in style, with massage every step of the way and just enjoy the time spent with her. So we got massage in San Diego, Fort Worth and will again in Jacksonville by the beach. Can't wait! We have seen just about every type of topographical landscape imaginable, going from 68 degrees to 112 degrees heat index, running over road shrapnel tires from 18 wheelers, encountered a water moccasin, laughed with friends, met people who knew people we knew in the middle of nowhere at a Starbucks, listen to the Broad Minded and Dr. Laura on XM, dreamed a little, cried and even revealed a few things to each other that have resulted in healing. I would have to recommend this recipe to anyone who attempts to drive 2000+ miles in four days driving. It is the only way to go. We finally made it and we went 2681 miles. We have four more days til we get to NOLA for our family reunion where we will be for a few days to rekindle, release and fellowship our family ties. We are a unique family and I am so blessed to be a part of it.
All this driving has made me feel as though my life is moving under my feet as fast as the road is moving beneath the car. Though I know it is not the road that is moving, however, after a while it is what if feels like and the car is just sitting still. I guess that is because Interstate 10 and 20 are pretty flat and straight. Our trusty navigation system keeps us going on the right road while God keeps us on the right path in our thoughts and conversations. My daughter is one of my best friends and can tell her anything knowing it will be met with love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and wisdom. She is an amazing person and I am so blessed to have this time with her as she begins her new life in this new place. I feel sometimes I am constantly starting a new frame of mind, a new set of rules, a new direction and a new hope for my life on a daily basis. She will do it more often physically because she is married to a Marine pilot. I feel like I am constantly wanting to be in a new place with God, a new place in my walk and constantly looking for that newness that I once experience as a younger person. I know I am growing old, but I really want to keep my young at heart attitude.
I crave the idea of "living beyond our years", so that what we establish here lives beyond our natural lives and on in our children, their children and their children's children, in to eternity. This idea I got from listening to Anita Renfroe on Broad Minded show on XM. A legacy carried over to the next generation that lives on. The sacrificial love given and steps made to reveal and increase healing will ensure our lives, what we believe, our hope that will be carried on beyond my years. I messed up big time as a new mom discovering my own selfish and self-centered behaviors, not having a clue really what to do with raising a baby. I had, still do in some cases, this need for perfection, and making sure everything was a certain way, need for control and wishful thinking. And if it weren't a certain way then I was a failure as a mom, that it was out of control, that I did not know what I was doing. Well guess what? I really didn't know what I was doing even with those unrealistic ideals. I was living up to an expectation that was so far out of my reach that it ended up coming back to bite me. So I finally could settle on setting the bar high enough to reach, then I would reset it and so on. I think that is why I have this on going fixation on the newness with God. Seeing what's next with God every step and beyond. When I read Jeremiah 29:11 for the first time it was so freeing for me to know and trust that He "knows the plans for me" because they are the plans, "I have for you". The more I try to plan the tighter bound up I became in making sure the plan was going according to my plan, missing the point and forgetting to consider His plan for me. It was all or nothing with no give, no slack and little room for error. Going to Montessori mother baby classes to better equip myself to parent was a great idea, yet somehow I allowed the self in me get the best of me which in turn really wasn't the best of me and was worse for my kids. But I learned, they endured and forgave me so sweetly. Now I get to go on 2000+ mile road trip together because we worked hard to get down the road thus far.
So living beyond what I can naturally see is like driving on this road we have been on. We have our pop up nav system, our map, our co-pilot, water, phones, snacks, sunglasses, craft projects, magazines, books, music and the like. The most important thing we have on this trip is one another. The time we have spent together will live way beyond our years as stories will be told of trips driven, taken and endured across this country, across the world and beyond. Live beyond your years and see where God takes you next. It truly is the greatest adventure.