Thursday, June 18, 2009

If At First You Don't Succeed

We all know the saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again".  I got to know this saying really well this last week.  With lots of encouragement from new friends I have made on MomTv I will try again.  Last Monday I was suppose to start my new MomTv show called Monday Morning Madre Minutes.  I guess I did not understand or get the memo about a new login procedure.  I did receive a message about the new instructions to login for live stream, and read through them, but somewhere missed a step.  To make a long story short I was not logging in right or under the right name or password. Reading instructions has never been my forte' then translating them into action is hard for me.  I am a much more hands on, click here, do this, go here kind of person.  I was so embarrassed.   My heart was pounding, I got all sweaty and could not even begin to think what I was doing wrong.  I am not a techy and get so lost in the language of the technology world.  Of course I always tell other techy's that I do get lost, so they don't get lost trying to help me find my way.  I am very fundamental and sometimes need step by step, click by click instructions on what to do.  I tried for almost 45 minutes to figure it out and even when I thought I was recording I wasn't linked to MomTv, but was recording to another link to some really yukky guys that immediately picked me up.  It was astonishing how fast they found my live feed.  I later found out this doesn't happen on MomTv.  We are protected there.   There were other feeds going on and this was early in the morning.  I looked at my notes and everything went to bluuuuurrrrr.
What I did realize in the process was that I was not as organized as I thought, my notes need to be like a news persons with one page for each subject, and practice maybe does not make perfect but it helps.  I felt like a big fat failure.  I was so excited about it, everyone was so encouraging and I let everyone know about it........then nothing.  My husband even became a member of MomTv just so he could watch, which I found out later you don't have to be a member to do so.
As I cried sitting outside the doctor's office to get my stitches removed hearing the lies and the arrows being shot at me from the enemy telling me, "Who do you think you are thinking you could host a show on the internet?  You don't know enough about computer's to do a show like this" and then the killer, "you really think God approves of you doing this show, nobody is going to watch or listen?"  My sweet husband reminded me on the phone those were just lies from the enemy to discourage me from getting whatever message the Lord would have me deliver to the masses. I really believe He has given us this tool for such a time as this to help others come to know Him better.  If I can be a messenger and this computer a vehicle and MomTv is in agreement then I am excited about what God will do with all of it.  
God's Word says, "If the ax is dull, and one does not sharpen the edge, then he must use more strength; but wisdom brings success".  Even though I thought I was ready to do a show the little test run that I did showed me I needed to walk through login with someone, I needed to arrange my notes where one thing is one page so it doesn't all run together, and that in my weakness He is made strong. Out of my failure He succeeds.   His word also says that the enemy comes to "see whom he may devour like a roaring lion walking to and fro".  It did not surprise me that it happened, and now in hindsight I am glad it did.  God is always about promoting blessing and teaching, success and excellence, beauty and grace and I am not sure I was ready or relaxed enough with the process to deliver that message.  I hope and pray I will be on Monday and I am planning on it.  I walked through with the tech guy at MomTv and he was so patient and great to work with.  So nice and I feel more confident now.  God is good all the time.  His plans He has for us are to prosper and to give us a future and hope.  I know it took Thomas Edison 800 tries to get the light bulb right so only 799 more shows to go.  Not sure I will ever get it right, but God will see to it that His Word makes it all right.  Hope to see yall there.  If not, I'll see you in a minute.

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